


On the Cusp

by kageygirl



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Episode Tag, M/M, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-07-29
Updated: 2005-07-29
Packaged: 2017-10-19 21:15:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/205284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kageygirl/pseuds/kageygirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zeno was full of it--at some point, Achilles is going to catch up to that damn tortoise.</p>
            </blockquote>





	On the Cusp

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers for 2x02, "The Intruder."

"How close was it, really?" John asks Beckett quietly, after the 'accident' that killed Lindstrom and had Rodney stifling his coughs into an oxygen mask. The group just broke up; Rodney's heading toward Engineering, and Elizabeth and Caldwell are on their way to the bridge. Beckett looks up from repacking his med kit and doesn't pretend not to understand the question.

"Close enough, Colonel." Beckett's honesty is disturbing sometimes, and John follows his gaze as Beckett shoots a dark look at the sealed hatch of the power control room. "He really should be fine, but that coolant is nasty stuff. It could have been much worse." He stands up and glances down the hallway where Rodney disappeared, then looks back at John. "Try to keep him out of any more trouble?"

"I always _try_ ," John says. But they've already lost two men, and John thinks it might get worse before it gets better, because somehow, it always does.

* * *

"Okay, tell me the truth--how close _was_ that, exactly?" John asks Elizabeth as they trail behind Rodney. They're going back to Engineering to basically reboot the _Daedalus_ , and that's just freaking John out a little. Rodney's really booking it, so they lose him quickly, but it's not like they don't know where he's headed, or that they haven't made this trek more than a few times already. Elizabeth raises an eyebrow, and John clarifies, "With the transport beam?"

"I'm not really sure, Colonel," Elizabeth says, giving him a brittle smile that says she was considering a compassionate lie, but decided against it. "Rodney said the beam hadn't been tested that far out."

"Good to know," John says dryly. To her credit, he'd bought it when she'd reassured him over the radio, but she and Rodney had both looked way too relieved when he rematerialized on the bridge.

"I thought we were avoiding any more close calls," she says, crossing her arms and narrowing her eyes, somehow looking both fond and disapproving.

"That was the _plan_ ," John says. But it seems like every new plan they come up with just unravels right in front of them.

* * *

"So, Rodney... how close _did_ we come to the point of no return back there?" John asks, after their check-up in the _Daedalus_ infirmary. Not that John hadn't actually been there himself, but Rodney seems to be in a funny head space right now, so John figures giving him an opening to complain might pry him out of it.

"Um, which time, Major?" Rodney asks, distracted. He's staring at his left wrist as they walk down the corridor, comparing the skin that'd been covered by his watch to the rest of his arm. John had watched Rodney unfasten the strap when they'd stripped down for the decon shower, then made himself look away. Because, yeah, he'd had a flight jacket on and Rodney was in a short-sleeved shirt, but that wouldn't have been enough to make a difference, right?

And John wasn't sure which was worse--the idea that he'd been looking because he was afraid Rodney had gotten a toxic radiation dose... or that he might have been looking for some other reason.

John takes Rodney's upper arm and steers him out of the way of a passing airman, and Rodney never looks up. "Colonel," John corrects, almost automatically. He's been suspecting that Rodney might be screwing with him on the rank thing, but right now he's not so sure. Rodney hardly seems to notice he's there. "And, you know--just now, with the star?"

Rodney finally blinks up at him. "Well, you'll have to forgive my confusion, considering that we were very nearly killed _several_ times in the past few hours." There's something pointed and sharp in Rodney's voice, but John's never let that stop him before.

"In which case I would have been more specific, if I hadn't meant the most recent incident," John says, with the wounded air of the unjustly accused. It's a completely bogus argument, but he likes to throw Rodney a curve every now and then.

Though sometimes it gets batted right back at his head. "Oh, and I'm supposed to ascribe to you that particular level of precision of expression." Rodney rolls his eyes.

"I'm hurt that you don't already," John says, tilting his head back.

Rodney snorts. "Oh, please. I'm not about to believe you're actually insulted by that. If you were any less sensitive, I would suspect nerve damage."

John frowns over at Rodney, though he's actually happy Rodney's getting back into the game. "I'm sensitive."

"Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining." Rodney finally cracks a smile, even if it's a little bit evil. "It's nice not to have to worry about bruising your incredibly not-fragile feelings."

"You know me, Rodney. Always happy to help." Rodney gives him a quizzical look, and John waves his hand. "With the--not-worrying thing."

Rodney's face goes completely blank for a second, and he opens his mouth, then closes it, slowly, staring straight ahead. "Right. Absolutely. Thank you for that."

He couldn't be less convincing. But they're in a crowded corridor--all the _Daedalus_ corridors are crowded, and after the near-emptiness of Atlantis, it's almost claustrophobic--and John can't just pull Rodney aside to talk to him. So he waits until they hit Rodney's quarters and then follows him right inside.

Rodney doesn't even blink, like he was expecting John to do just that. He just stops when the door closes and turns to John, his expression open and resolute and serious. John's learned that he'd damn well better pay attention when Rodney looks like that, and he feels himself standing a little straighter, breathing a little deeper, gearing up for whatever it is that just went really wrong. "Rodney?"

For just a second, John's back in the hangar bay, frozen at the thought that _oh my god, we're going to die, right the fuck now_ , and Jesus Christ, he's getting tired of thinking that. But Rodney was all helpless panic then, not this solemn conviction, though his eyes are just as compelling now as they were at the time.

Taking a step forward, Rodney angles his head a little and just _looks_ at John. No one else really looks at John that way, and he's pretty sure no one else gets those looks from Rodney, either. They make John want to move very carefully and deliberately, like he'll upset some balance if he's not careful.

"Close," Rodney says, his voice quiet but sure. "Very, very close."

It takes John a minute to remember how this whole conversation started--how _he_ started it, actually. But John's not even sure Rodney's answering the same question anymore.

"Too close?" John asks, licking his lips. His mouth has gone dry, and he's abruptly reminded of Rodney's almost perfunctory observation about the hazards of filtered air, back when he'd first stepped aboard the ship. Rodney had been mostly preoccupied with staring at everything around him, and John had been preoccupied with watching Rodney.

Rodney's just kind of mesmerizing when he gets that intense look of concentration on his face. Which is pretty much exactly how he looks right now, and right now he's focused solely on John.

"Hard to say, Colonel," Rodney says, watching John, the weight of his gaze holding John still. "It's not really an exact science."

John's not sure how long he stands there staring back before the shipwide comm chimes, paging the first officer to the bridge, and he jumps a little. Rodney smirks at him, gentle and ironic, and John thinks it's funny how well Rodney can be both at the same time. John ducks his head and rubs the back of his neck, taking a judicious step backward.

John's recently been reminded that there are security cameras in pretty much all the corridors--eyes on them all the time, even if no one's actually watching.

So he clears his throat and turns for the door, but Rodney's voice stops him before he can hit the control. "Colonel?"

"Yeah?" John asks, grinning as he looks back at Rodney. Rodney remembering his new rank makes him happier than it should, and he realizes with a guilty rush that this is probably why he's been making such a big deal about it.

"About the not-worrying-me thing?" Rodney folds his arms and lifts his chin. "You suck at it."

John manages a nod, looking into Rodney's eyes. "Same here," he says, and his voice is a little rough.

And then John gets the hell out of Rodney's room, while he still can. Because he's pretty damn close to not being able to leave at all.  



End file.
